Hey Reader,
Last week, I lost over £3k.
Not through fraud. Not through a mistake. But through rejection.
A few weeks ago, a potential corporate client reached out to me online.
They’d seen my content, loved my mission to help over one million introverts break free from systemic bias and live, not just exist, and told me I seemed like the perfect fit to help them bring greater awareness to introversion in the workplace.
They were looking for a keynote speaker and told me, repeatedly, that they’d found their person.
We had a virtual meeting; it went brilliantly. They said they’d be in touch.
Then, silence.
And last Wednesday, they finally emailed to say they’d decided to go with someone else.
This one-hour talk would have been worth at least £3k, and having recently hit a financial low after losing my main regular client, and my product sales drying up, the timing of the blow hit harder than usual.
More than the money though, it was what the rejection triggered.
The inner voice that’s lived in me for years got loud again:
“You’re not good enough.”
“You always mess up the negotiations.”
“People like your free stuff, but no one actually wants to pay you.”
It wasn’t just a wobble: I spiralled.
I’ve battled Imposter Syndrome and low self-worth for most of my life. So when rejection comes, even if it’s logical or impersonal, it often feels like confirmation of every negative belief I’ve ever held about myself.
This has been a lifelong journey for me; I’d even built a toolkit to deal with it based on decades of trial and error. And so, after a little cry and a bit of a self-pity wallow, I used it.
The truth is, there’s no magic fix to becoming more confident.
Just like going to the gym, if you stop showing up and putting in the reps you’ll eventually lose your gains.
It’s an ongoing process, even though it gets easier the more you do it.
I’m definitely the best, most confident, version of myself but that doesn’t mean I don’t actively have to work on it.
And anyone who pretends they don’t is lying to you.
An Introvert’s Struggle
During my work with Google, speaking to thousands of people across 169 countries globally, I discovered something that validated what I’d always suspected: introverts are statistically far more likely to suffer from Imposter Syndrome and limiting beliefs.
Not because we’re less capable. But because of the systemic bias we’ve been absorbing since childhood.
Many of us were taught, in subtle and overt ways, that we’re not enough as we are. That being quieter, more inward-focused, or thoughtful is a disadvantage.
We internalise messages that we need to be “more outgoing,” “more assertive,” or simply “different” to succeed. So we learn to mask. We try to fit into a version of success that was never designed with us in mind.
And when rejection comes – as it inevitably does for everyone – it hits us differently. It confirms that voice that’s been whispering “you’re not enough” since we were young.
Building An Evidence Bank
Over time, we carry around an outdated self-image that doesn’t reflect who we truly are, or what we’ve actually achieved.
This feeds our Imposter Syndrome and limiting beliefs.
Here’s how to align yourself with a new self-image:
- Gather Your Evidence: when my brain was screaming “they found someone better,” I pulled out my collection of testimonials. I remembered the queue of attendees waiting to tell me how my keynote had impacted them the last time I spoke. I reviewed case studies of clients whose lives transformed after working with me. The evidence told a different story than my Imposter Syndrome.
- Challenge Your Outdated Self-Image: my default self-image formed early: just a girl from the Valleys that no one likes and doesn’t fit in anywhere. I’ll never reach my goals because I’m too different and I’ll always be found out. No one ever chooses you. Sound familiar? Many of us carry self-concepts that haven’t been updated since childhood or adolescence. But I’m not that girl anymore. And you’re not who you once were either.
- Document Everything That Contradicts Your Old Story: your mind cannot ignore consistent contradictory evidence. When I write down each success, each positive interaction, each life changed, my brain slowly rewires those subconscious beliefs.
Evidence doesn’t lie.
Even when my inner voice is yelling “you’re not good enough”, the facts say otherwise.
Writing it down is KEY. Not just once, but consistently. Track what you do, not just how you feel. Did you speak up in a meeting? Write it down. Did someone thank you for your insight? Write it down. Did your idea lead to a better outcome? That counts too.
Over time, this becomes a mirror. One that shows the real you, not the distorted version your fear wants you to see.
You can do this for anything, by the way: procrastination, people-pleasing, public speaking.
The more you track your reps, the stronger your belief becomes.
You stop living by the voice in your head, and start living by the truth you’ve recorded.
I may have lost this opportunity, but I didn’t lose my power.
I have the proof. I know I’m good at what I do. I know I’ve changed lives.
And when I remind myself of that, the rejection becomes something else: a redirection.
Part of my own work and life view is to help people on a wide scale and in a meaningful way. Speaking is a huge part of that, and this experience reminded me that building a personal brand is no longer optional – it’s essential.
If you’re in a spiral of your own – I see you. And I’ve got something that might help.
My Introvert Success Toolkit contains the exact exercises I used to bounce back from last week’s rejection. It’s proven to help introverts like you transform evidence into unshakeable confidence. Click here to access your toolkit.
Next week, we’ll talk about how building your personal brand (the most important thing you can do in 2025) connects directly to this confidence work. Because whilst my personal brand attracted this client’s attention, I’ve learnt a lot about applying my own strategy and what I’m NOT doing and I want to share these learnings with you.
A strong personal brand can mean the difference between securing, or losing, a £3k client.
Next time, I don’t intend to lose.
In your corner always,
Sam 💛
